If that was your dad, he is hot
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
