May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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