Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
