Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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