I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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