I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
