Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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