I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
