is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
