turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
