aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
