if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is my gift to your gina
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
