This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
