do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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