i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We need to get me chipped asap
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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