thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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