all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Mom said you looked used
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
