it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
