Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
