Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
