so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
