took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
