Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
