I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
