By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
