I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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