think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
