idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
there is glitter all over my balls
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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