i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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