eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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