Yo dont text me then not text me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
