dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
