What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
