What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize