hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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