he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
