I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Randomize
