from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
