We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
