i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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