just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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