At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
