Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
