I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
