His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
