Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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