For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
