oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
