How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
