He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
