Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
